The Science of Setting Goals

The Science of Setting Goals

What happens in our heads when we set goals?

Apparently a lot more than you’d think. Goal setting isn’t quite so simple as deciding on the things you’d like to accomplish and working towards them.

According to the research of psychologists, neurologists, and other scientists, setting a goal invests ourselves into the target as if we’d already accomplished it. That is, by setting something as a goal, however small or large, however near or far in the future, a part of our brain believes that desired outcome is an essential part of who we are – setting up the conditions that drive us to work towards the goals to fulfill the brain’s self-image.

Apparently the brain cannot distinguish between things we want and things we have. Neurologically, then, our brains treat the failure to achieve our goal the same way as it treats the loss of a valued possession. And up until the moment the goal is achieved, we have failed to achieve it, setting up a constant tension that the brain seeks to resolve.

Ideally, this tension is resolved by driving us towards accomplishment. In many cases, though, the brain simply responds to the loss, causing us to feel fear, anxiety, even anguish, depending on the value of the as-yet-unattained goal.

Love, Loss, Dopamine, and Our Dreams

The brains functions are carried out by a stew of chemicals called neurotransmitters. You’ve probably heard of serotonin, which plays a key role in our emotional life – most of the effective anti-depressant medications on the market are serotonin reuptake inhibitors, meaning they regulate serotonin levels in the brain leading to more stable moods.

Somewhat less well-known is another neurotransmitter, dopamine. Among other things, dopamine acts as a motivator, creating a sensation of pleasure when the brain is stimulated by achievement. Dopamine is also involved in maintaining attention – some forms of ADHD are linked to irregular responses to dopamine.

So dopamine plays a key role in keeping us focused on our goals and motivating us to attain them, rewarding our attention and achievement by elevating our mood. That is, we feel good when we work towards our goals.

Dopamine is related to wanting – to desire. The attainment of the object of our desire releases dopamine into our brains and we feel good. Conversely, the frustration of our desires starves us of dopamine, causing anxiety and fear.

One of the greatest of desires is romantic love – the long-lasting, “till death do us part” kind. It’s no surprise, then, that romantic love is sustained, at least in part, through the constant flow of dopamine released in the presence – real or imagined – of our true love. Loss of romantic love cuts off that supply of dopamine, which is why it feels like you’re dying – your brain responds by triggering all sorts of anxiety-related responses.

Herein lies obsession, as we go to ever-increasing lengths in search of that dopamine reward. Stalking specialists warn against any kind of contact with a stalker, positive or negative, because any response at all triggers that reward mechanism. If you let the phone ring 50 times and finally pick up on the 51st ring to tell your stalker off, your stalker gets his or her reward, and learns that all s/he has to do is wait for the phone to ring 51 times.

Romantic love isn’t the only kind of desire that can create this kind of dopamine addiction, though – as Captain Ahab knew well, any suitably important goal can become an obsession once the mind has established ownership.


The Neurology of Ownership

Ownership turns out to be about a lot more than just legal rights. When we own something, we invest a part of ourselves into it – it becomes an extension of ourselves.

In a famous experiment at Cornell University, researchers gave students school logo coffee mugs, and then offered to trade them chocolate bars for the mugs. Very few were willing to make the trade, no matter how much they professed to like chocolate. Big deal, right? Maybe they just really liked those mugs!

But when they reversed the experiment, handing out chocolate and then offering to trade mugs for the candy, they found that now, few students were all that interested in the mugs. Apparently the key thing about the mugs or the chocolate wasn’t whether students valued whatever they had in their possession, but simply that they had it in their possession.

This phenomenon is called the “endowment effect”. In a nutshell, the endowment effect occurs when we take ownership of an object (or idea, or person); in becoming “ours” it becomes integrated with our sense of identity, making us reluctant to part with it (losing it is seen as a loss, which triggers that dopamine shut-off I discussed above).

Interestingly, researchers have found that the endowment effect doesn’t require actual ownership or even possession to come into play. In fact, it’s enough to have a reasonable expectation of future possession for us to start thinking of something as a part of us – as jilted lovers, gambling losers, and 7-year olds denied a toy at the store have all experienced.

The Upshot for Goal-Setters

So what does all this mean for would-be achievers?

On one hand, it’s a warning against setting unreasonable goals. The bigger the potential for positive growth a goal has, the more anxiety and stress your brain is going to create around it’s non-achievement.

It also suggests that the common wisdom to limit your goals to a small number of reasonable, attainable objectives is good advice. The more goals you have, the more ends your brain thinks it “owns” and therefore the more grief and fear the absence of those ends is going to cause you.

On a more positive note, the fact that the brain rewards our attentiveness by releasing dopamine means that our brain is working with us to direct us to achievement. Paying attention to your goals feels good, encouraging us to spend more time doing it. This may be why outcome visualization — a favorite technique of self-help gurus involving imagining yourself having completed your objectives — has such a poor track record in clinical studies. It effectively tricks our brain into rewarding us for achieving our goals even though we haven’t done it yet!

But ultimately our brain wants us to achieve our goals, so that it’s sense of who we are can be fulfilled. And that’s pretty good news!

Goal Setting – Powerful Written Goals In 7 Easy Steps!

Goal Setting – Powerful Written Goals In 7 Easy Steps!

The car is packed and you’re ready to go, your first ever cross-country trip. From the

White Mountains of New Hampshire to the rolling hills of San Francisco, you’re going to see it all.

You put the car in gear and off you go. First stop, the Baseball Hall of Fame in

Cooperstown, New York. A little while into the trip you need to check the map because you’ve reached an intersection you’re not familiar with. You panic for a moment because you realize you’ve forgotten your map. But you say the heck with it because you know where you’re going. You take a right, change the radio station and keep on going. Unfortunately, you never reach your destination.

Too many of us treat goal setting the same way. We dream about where we want to go, but we don’t have a map to get there.

What is a map? In essence, the written word

What is the difference between a dream and a goal? Once again, the written word

But we need to do more than simply scribble down some ideas on a piece of paper.

Our goals need to be complete and focused, much like a road map, and that is the purpose behind the rest of this article.

If you follow the 7 steps I’ve outlined below you will be well on your way to becoming an expert in building the road maps to your goals.


Life consists in what a man is thinking of all day.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson



1. Make sure the goal you are working for is something you really want, not just something that sounds good.

I remember when I started taking baseball umpiring more seriously. I began to set my sites on the NCAA Division 1 level. Why? I knew there was no way I could get onto the road to the major leagues, so the next best thing was the highest college level. Pretty cool, right. Wrong.

Sure, when I was talking to people about my umpiring goals it sounded pretty good, and many people were quite impressed. Fortunately I began to see through my own charade.

I have been involved in youth sports for a long time. I’ve coached, I’ve been the

President of leagues, I’ve been a treasurer and I’m currently an Assistant State Commissioner for Cal Ripken Baseball. Youth sports are where I belong; it is where my heart belongs, not on some college diamond where the only thing at stake is a high draft spot.

When setting goals it is very important to remember that your goals must be consistent with your values.


2. A goal cannot contradict any of your other goals.

For example, you can’t buy a $750,000 house if your income goal is only $50,000 per year. This is called non-integrated thinking and will sabotage all of the hard work you put into your goals. Non-integrated thinking can also hamper your everyday thoughts as well. We should continually strive to eliminate contradictory ideas from our thinking.


3. Develop goals in the 6 areas of life:




















Setting goals in each area of life will ensure a more balanced life as you begin to examine and change the fundamentals of everyday living. Setting goals in each area of life also helps in eliminating the non-integrated thinking we talked about in the 2nd step.


4. Write your goal in the positive instead of the negative.

Work for what you want, not for what you want to leave behind. Part of the reason why we write down and examine our goals is to create a set of instructions for our subconscious mind to carry out. Your subconscious mind is a very efficient tool, it cannot determine right from wrong and it does not judge. It’s only function is to carry out its instructions. The more positive instructions you give it, the more positive results you will get.

Thinking positively in everyday life will also help in your growth as a human being.

Don’t limit it to goal setting.

5. Write your goal out in complete detail.

Instead of writing “A new home,” write “A 4,000 square foot contemporary with 4 bedrooms and 3 baths and a view of the mountain on 20 acres of land.

Once again we are giving the subconscious mind a detailed set of instructions to work on. The more information you give it, the more clear the final outcome becomes. The more precise the outcome, the more efficient the subconscious mind can become.

Can you close your eyes and visualize the home I described above? Walk around the house. Stand on the porch off the master bedroom and see the fog lifting off the mountain. Look down at the garden full of tomatoes, green beans and cucumbers. And off to the right is the other garden full of a mums, carnations and roses. Can you see it? So can your subconscious mind.


6. By all means, make sure your goal is high enough.

Shoot for the moon; if you miss you’ll still be in the stars. Earlier I talked about my umpiring goals and how making it to the top level of college umpiring did not mix with my values. Some of you might be saying that I’m not setting my goals high enough. Not so. I still have very high goals for my umpiring career at the youth level.

My ultimate goal is to be chosen to umpire a Babe Ruth World Series and to do so as a crew chief. If I never make it, everything I do to reach that goal will make me a better umpire and a better person. If I make it, but don’t go as a crew chief, then I am still among the top youth umpires in the nation. Shoot for the moon!


7. This is the most important, write down your goals.

Writing down your goals creates the road-map to your success. Although just the act of writing them down can set the process in motion, it is also extremely important to review your goals frequently. Remember, the more focused you are on your goals the more likely you are to accomplish them.

Sometimes we realize we have to revise a goal as circumstances and other goals change, much like I did with my umpiring. If you need to change a goal do not consider it a failure, consider it a victory as you had the insight to realize something was different.

How to win friends and influence People

How to win friends and influence People

How to win friends and influence People

Eight Things This Book Will Help You Achieve
Preface to Revised Edition
How This Book Was Written-And Why
Nine Suggestions on How to Get the Most Out of This Book
A Shortcut to Distinction
Part 1 – Fundamental Techniques In Handling People
• 1 – “If You Want to Gather Honey, Don’t Kick Over the Beehive”
• 2 – The Big Secret of Dealing with People
• 3 – “He Who Can Do This Has the Whole World with Him. He Who
Cannot, Walks a Lonely Way”
• Eight Suggestions On How To Get The Most Out Of This Book
Part 2 – Six Ways To Make People Like You
• 1 – Do This and You’ll Be Welcome Anywhere
• 2 – A Simple Way to Make a Good Impression
• 3 – If You Don’t Do This, You Are Headed for Trouble
• 4 – An Easy Way to Become a Good Conversationalist
• 5 – How to Interest People
• 6 – How To Make People Like You Instantly
• In A Nutshell
Part 3 – Twelve Ways To Win People To Your Way Of Thinking
• 1 – You Can’t Win an Argument
• 2 – A Sure Way of Making Enemies—and How to Avoid It
• 3 – If You’re Wrong, Admit It
• 4 – The High Road to a Man’s Reason
• 5 – The Secret of Socrates
• 6 – The Safety Valve in Handling Complaints
• 7 – How to Get Co-operation
• 8 – A Formula That Will Work Wonders for You
• 9 – What Everybody Wants
• 10 – An Appeal That Everybody Likes
• 11 – The Movies Do It. Radio Does It. Why Don’t You Do It?
• 12 – When Nothing Else Works, Try This
• In A Nutshell
Part 4 – Nine Ways To Change People Without Giving Offence Or
Arousing Resentment
• 1 – If You Must Find Fault, This Is the Way to Begin
• 2 – How to Criticize—and Not Be Hated for It
• 3 – Talk About Your Own Mistakes First
• 4 – No One Likes to Take Orders
• 5 – Let the Other Man Save His Face
• 6 – How to Spur Men on to Success
• 7 – Give the Dog a Good Name
• 8 – Make the Fault Seem Easy to Correct
• 9 – Making People Glad to Do What You Want
• In A Nutshell
Part 5 – Letters That Produced Miraculous Results
Part 6 – Seven Rules For Making Your Home Life Happier
• 1 – How to Dig Your Marital Grave in the Quickest Possible Way
• 2 – Love and Let Live
• 3 – Do This and You’ll Be Looking Up the Time-Tables to Reno
• 4 – A Quick Way to Make Everybody Happy
• 5 – They Mean So Much to a Woman
• 6 – If you Want to be Happy, Don’t Neglect This One
• 7 – Don’t Be a “Marriage Illiterate”
• In A Nutshell
Eight Things This Book Will Help You Achieve
• 1. Get out of a mental rut, think new thoughts, acquire new
visions, discover new ambitions.
• 2. Make friends quickly and easily.
• 3. Increase your popularity.
• 4. Win people to your way of thinking.
• 5. Increase your influence, your prestige, your ability to get things
• 6. Handle complaints, avoid arguments, keep your human contacts
smooth and pleasant.
• 7. Become a better speaker, a more entertaining conversationalist.
• 8. Arouse enthusiasm among your associates.

Click here to download

Choosing a Positive Attitude!

Times have changed. At least this is what everyone says. It is fashionable to use the famous management phrase: The only thing constant is change. We are not denying that. However, not everything changes. Laws of nature don’t! For example time – it marches on. We all have 24 hours in a day and how we use this time is what makes for the difference in what we each achieve.

Similarly there are certain attributes and facts that do not change. For example organizations need people who not only have the aptitude for their respective work but also the attitude.

To be where we are today, most of us would have gone through the following routine:

· To become an engineer, I joined an engineering university
· To become a doctor I joined medical university
· To become an accountant, I joined a professional accounting body
· To become an artist, I joined arts school
· To become an individual with positive attitude, I joined ???? … well…

See what I mean ? !

No single institute teaches us how to have a positive attitude. Yet most companies hire and fire people on their attitude.

Success requires one to motivate oneself to have a positive attitude. Is it easy? No! Can it be done? Can people really change their attitudes? YES!

To change our attitudes we need to take a step back and revisit our own lives. It requires us to reboot our thinking and/or maybe even upload the latest upgrade.

We were born and this is our life. At the end of the day no one is responsible for my happiness more than I myself. People often say they want appreciation and recognition (non-financial) at the workplace to feel motivated and have a positive attitude towards work. But why? Since when did non-recognition amount to de-motivation?. Years ago, officials rejected a candidate for news broadcasters post since his voice was not fit for the job. He was also told that with his obnoxiously long name, he would have trouble being recognized. This person is Amitabh Bachchan! Another example is of a student who was scolded by a school teacher for not paying attention to his mathematics and for not being able to solve simple problems. She told him that he would not become anybody in life. This boy was Albert Einstein!

I am personally fascinated by a quotation by Louisa May Alcott (1832-1888) an American writer. She says, “Far away in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach
them, but I can look up and see the beauty, believe in them and try to follow where they lead.”

What are you looking at? Where are you going? What do you believe in? and how hard are you trying?

Remember that we are not a victim of our present but creators of our future. This requires challenging what we do – now!

Here are 4 things you can do to develop a positive attitude

1) Give one hour/day to become an expert:

Read & enhance yourself. Find a meaning to your life and drive yourself in that direction. This may be work related or otherwise. This gives you the confidence to speak and share your thoughts on a particular subject.

2) Stay away from misery lovers’ company:

These are individuals who are drowning and will take you down as well. It is like receiving an attachment from a virus infected computer. Information coming from people who are negative needs to be cleaned.

3) Spend (some) money with family:

Most of us work to support our families and provide our dear ones with a better standard of living. This is why money is so critical. Spend this money with the people you love. It may give you a sense of achievement. This is also a way of rewarding yourself. Spend money sometimes – it feels good

4) Keep your faith.

Faith gives hope for the future and allows us to dream and visualize an abundant future. “He who loses wealth loses much; he who loses a friend loses more; but he who loses courage and faith loses all”. – Miguel de Cervantes, 1547-1616, Spanish Novelist, Dramatist, Poet

Don’t wait – Choose to have positive attitude – Just do it !